Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Trying To Matter

I was really feeling myself as a black woman. Not that I hadn't before, but I was feeling all black and excellent, even feeling my black ass braids too (if you call them boxer braids I swear to ALL of the Gods...). Plus, social media is fun and all of those #MelaninPoppin posts were also helping a BIH feel fly AF. I was duck walking all around this town! I was until a huge part of America decided to let me know that my life means nothing. Ouch, right? Try waking up with that loud and deafening realization for months. Try waking up with that realization during the intense days of last week in what feels like the Civil Rights Movement (Remix). **To my friends that do not fall into the persons of color category- let me let you know right now that you and your presence in my life are in no way excluded nor carry any negative connotations. I love you long time. It's just the masses, your lives matter. In this blog post, I'm talking about my own and expressing what I think are some viewpoints of people who look, talk and act like me. No shade. I encourage you to keep reading. 
I think the most frustrating thing about the Black Lives Matter slogan is that it's so damn catchy. Am I right? 
These three words are so to the point and real and it just validates who we are as a community, unifying us across the globe. 
And *that* pisses people the fuck off. It would almost be hysterical if we weren't being executed for it. I say "executed" for a reason. Look up the definition and you'll see why. The other thing? IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. Black Lives Matter quite literally means that I matter. My husbandmotherfathersisterbrotherfriends and ancestors matter BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT ALWAYS MATTERED. We only graduated from 3/5 of a person to 5/5 of a person 151 years ago. We just want to hold onto that feeling, nawmean? Another thing that is balls to the walls f'annoying? Some people try to miss the point of BLM so fucking much that they argue with ME using MLK quotes. KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.
Individuals who use that historical rhetoric are arguing for peace and a non violent approach to this shit we've found ourselves in and that is the foundation of the Black Lives Matter movement. We want to peacefully coexist and yearn for a world that there's value to our essence and what we bring to the table as a culture. We are not a terrorist group. We aren't even a group! We're just black!

I'll address another touchy point here too. I've seen the meme floating around that says "if you haven't checked on your black friends then you have no black friends." As funny as that is, it's not always true. Why? I have a plethora of friends who would rather not even rock the boat on where we decide to go for happy hour drinks. Why now, should I expect them to step outside of character to rock the boat with their own networks and stand up for the cause? I'm not saying that I'm not worth it or that you aren't worth it, but if your friendship is worth it, let this simmer. You know your friends better than anyone so don't let this segregationist agenda ruin a great friendship. While it does sting to see some friends reaching out more than others, do you know how awkward it is for a white person to call or text and say "I saw black people dying on TV so are you okay?!" 
Feel free to disagree but that's an awkward ass conversation.

Lastly, I saw a Facebook friend post this the other day but I am guilty of it too. Tempers are flying and we are all pissed. Proofreading is your friend! Do you know how dumb we look misspelling and using terrible grammar?! I'm sure I've used it in this post! LOL! You know people are living on phones these days so as soon as that post notification comes through and before you get to hit "edit" on Facebook, your shit is being read.
It's usually fine...until now. I think Facebook arguments are mostly dumb but I know there's the one asshole you have to respond to. I know, I've responded to two so far! But here is where we let the education shine. Whatever amount of education you have has enabled you to know how to spell and decent knowledge of punctuation. You can send a read an hour late but it'll still be a read. 
I'll try to take my own advice. 

I intentionally made this post lighthearted. The fact is I've rewritten it five times over while sobbing and knowing that people are truly dying over the color of their skin. In 2016. You can say what you want about African American citizens being raised to hate or distrust the police and I can comprehend the argument. The hate from "the boys in blue", however, is not unsubstantiated or undocumented. It's so bad in this millennium that a woman went live on Facebook while the father of her child died next to her. She recorded in an effort to achieve some semblance of justice. Can you imagine that for yourselves?  That a social network sharing feature is your only option in the world to save your life with your baby in the backseat? I've cried. I've cried for all of us because this is not something I ever expected to see in my lifetime as much as I believed we were a progressive nation and the current temperature of society has all but shattered that.  I don't know what I tell my future children and that is a valid argument because I will have children sooner than I see than social justice. And I don't know what we tell each other to hold each other up throughout these excruciating times. Maybe we can try saying this: Black Lives Matter. 


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