Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Trying To Matter

I was really feeling myself as a black woman. Not that I hadn't before, but I was feeling all black and excellent, even feeling my black ass braids too (if you call them boxer braids I swear to ALL of the Gods...). Plus, social media is fun and all of those #MelaninPoppin posts were also helping a BIH feel fly AF. I was duck walking all around this town! I was until a huge part of America decided to let me know that my life means nothing. Ouch, right? Try waking up with that loud and deafening realization for months. Try waking up with that realization during the intense days of last week in what feels like the Civil Rights Movement (Remix). **To my friends that do not fall into the persons of color category- let me let you know right now that you and your presence in my life are in no way excluded nor carry any negative connotations. I love you long time. It's just the masses, your lives matter. In this blog post, I'm talking about my own and expressing what I think are some viewpoints of people who look, talk and act like me. No shade. I encourage you to keep reading. 
I think the most frustrating thing about the Black Lives Matter slogan is that it's so damn catchy. Am I right? 
These three words are so to the point and real and it just validates who we are as a community, unifying us across the globe. 
And *that* pisses people the fuck off. It would almost be hysterical if we weren't being executed for it. I say "executed" for a reason. Look up the definition and you'll see why. The other thing? IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. Black Lives Matter quite literally means that I matter. My husbandmotherfathersisterbrotherfriends and ancestors matter BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT ALWAYS MATTERED. We only graduated from 3/5 of a person to 5/5 of a person 151 years ago. We just want to hold onto that feeling, nawmean? Another thing that is balls to the walls f'annoying? Some people try to miss the point of BLM so fucking much that they argue with ME using MLK quotes. KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.
Individuals who use that historical rhetoric are arguing for peace and a non violent approach to this shit we've found ourselves in and that is the foundation of the Black Lives Matter movement. We want to peacefully coexist and yearn for a world that there's value to our essence and what we bring to the table as a culture. We are not a terrorist group. We aren't even a group! We're just black!

I'll address another touchy point here too. I've seen the meme floating around that says "if you haven't checked on your black friends then you have no black friends." As funny as that is, it's not always true. Why? I have a plethora of friends who would rather not even rock the boat on where we decide to go for happy hour drinks. Why now, should I expect them to step outside of character to rock the boat with their own networks and stand up for the cause? I'm not saying that I'm not worth it or that you aren't worth it, but if your friendship is worth it, let this simmer. You know your friends better than anyone so don't let this segregationist agenda ruin a great friendship. While it does sting to see some friends reaching out more than others, do you know how awkward it is for a white person to call or text and say "I saw black people dying on TV so are you okay?!" 
Feel free to disagree but that's an awkward ass conversation.

Lastly, I saw a Facebook friend post this the other day but I am guilty of it too. Tempers are flying and we are all pissed. Proofreading is your friend! Do you know how dumb we look misspelling and using terrible grammar?! I'm sure I've used it in this post! LOL! You know people are living on phones these days so as soon as that post notification comes through and before you get to hit "edit" on Facebook, your shit is being read.
It's usually fine...until now. I think Facebook arguments are mostly dumb but I know there's the one asshole you have to respond to. I know, I've responded to two so far! But here is where we let the education shine. Whatever amount of education you have has enabled you to know how to spell and decent knowledge of punctuation. You can send a read an hour late but it'll still be a read. 
I'll try to take my own advice. 

I intentionally made this post lighthearted. The fact is I've rewritten it five times over while sobbing and knowing that people are truly dying over the color of their skin. In 2016. You can say what you want about African American citizens being raised to hate or distrust the police and I can comprehend the argument. The hate from "the boys in blue", however, is not unsubstantiated or undocumented. It's so bad in this millennium that a woman went live on Facebook while the father of her child died next to her. She recorded in an effort to achieve some semblance of justice. Can you imagine that for yourselves?  That a social network sharing feature is your only option in the world to save your life with your baby in the backseat? I've cried. I've cried for all of us because this is not something I ever expected to see in my lifetime as much as I believed we were a progressive nation and the current temperature of society has all but shattered that.  I don't know what I tell my future children and that is a valid argument because I will have children sooner than I see than social justice. And I don't know what we tell each other to hold each other up throughout these excruciating times. Maybe we can try saying this: Black Lives Matter. 

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Goodbye Greys, We're On Speaking Terms Shonda

So I'm a lot embarrassed to be writing this now. I am by no means a super, super fan of Grey's. Can I answer a buzz feed quiz on the chronological catastrophes in the history of the show? Can I triangulate the love triangles of the core characters? Can I match myself with 3 of the main personalities on the show? TOTES. A bus ran over George (007). Shooting. Plane crash. Derek dies. Also in order of least to most tears I've shed in a finale. And I'm most like Arizona because I'm passionate and cry when I can't express myself with words. Am I a fan who's posted on blogs and forums of my distaste? Hell no. But my closest friends know, and my husband knows, how hard it was for me to say goodbye to my last beloved character on a show I have loved since I was 17 years old. That fact helped me realize, that Shonda doesn't write for me anymore.

greys anatomy animated GIF

I remember being 17 years old and it was just after prom I think? That the season 2 two part finale had aired that night on ABC. Just after Desperate Housewives became a hit and the first African American female writer on a major network TV show began to break records. I shared my fandom for her on this blog before. My mom taped over (we didn't have TiVo at the time. Rude, mom) the first half of the Denny - Izzy love story. I hunted on the early stages of YouTube for hours on senior ditch day to find it and at the end of what would have been my last senior year, I found it in 6 parts online. Watched the whole thing, curled up on the couch and watched the last half live that on ABC, with even more record breaking fans and sobbed my eyes out. Didn't sob like that again until my 9 years of Grey's devotion kicked in, and I watched the untimely death of Derek Shepherd this past year at 2am after supporting a good friend at her breakout Second City show (We now have the millennial version of TiVo).
greys anatomy animated GIF

I will never forget this day-- SJ you are hilarious and I really appreciate the Bernie and your fab improv. But I was super embarrassed after watching this particular finale. For starters, let's talk about the fucking irony that a neurosurgeon died of a brain injury from a lower ranked goddamn trauma hospital! I'm moving through the anger still. I had 2 group texts going about how this can't be real. Shonda, (yes, Shonda. She lost my respect this summer so we are on a first name basis.) can't kill off 1/2 of the duo I might have loved the most since my younger years of wanting to believe in a fairy tale produced by Disney. My now husband came into the living room PISSED because I was sobbing, in his words, "like my mom died" over Dr. Derek Shepherd. That's when I knew, this is just TV.

greys anatomy animated GIF

It's crazy because this love story Shonda Rhimes created I really appreciated. It was very real and very flawed which was really cute in a "not everyone is price charming" way.This was my showwwwww. Freshman through senior year of college this was the thing we watched after essays, before pregamming and before fake ID/real ID Thirsty Thursdays. Grey's was a ritual! And then when my husband walked in the room, I thought through all my piles of Kleenex to myself--- BIIIHHH, are you serious?! Don't get me wrong. The Shonda hate still lives in my veins through Snapchat and group texts. I even hate watched one of the finales last night trying to get back into my show, texted friends an awful screenshot (sorry Krissy and Jessica) and I still couldn't love it. Because I am supremely happy. This random love story I loved is toast compared to what I live now every day. Sorry Keith, you're my *insert whatever phrase is better than McDreamy here* so this show goes back to the fiction it's intended to be and for all the newbies who have no idea the emotional roller coaster this show is. Strap. In.

I'm at peace with the fact that I can let go of whatever this show turns out to be, its characters, and the way I used to run home Thursday nights at 8pm. (Sidenote: literally everyone is busy at 7pm CST. Shonda said IDFWU to Grey's, unlike the way she used to. You TEW brand new, boo.) I digress.

Grey's Anatomy Season 12 Poster

I can say bye to Grey's now and good luck to everyone who still watches it. I'm no longer in the gripping age group of fans who die for this now dead love story. I got my own to write.


PS this poster is rude.

PPS I also signed the petition to bring Derek back. Whatever. I was grieving.

Photo cred:,

Friday, January 23, 2015

I Did Something Kind of Crazy #AssataDesigns

I love fashion. I love creating fashion. Looking at trends, prints, patterns and working with textiles is kind of my thing. It's the project that gets my blood pumping and also something that gives me creative purpose.


I opened an Etsy store! Introducing "Assata Designs". You can read my post here and here behind the meaning of Assata Designs and who Assata is (spoiler alert: I get it from my mama).

You can visit the shop here and right now I'm exclusively focusing on accessories for Men, Women and Baby. I wanted to share this with you all because I am finally ready to do this. 

Note: The Etsy store is debuting, and like me, it will evolve over time. A full bottle of Shiraz was a fuel for this project so be gentle with your thoughts.

And since I turned 27 use code "ASSATA" to get 27% of your very first order. 


Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Am I Too Old To Go Out?

It’s a weird complex I have since it's New Years Eve, and I’m 19 days away from my 27th birthday.
I go out on special occasions like Holiday Parties (hello, open bar) or my own birthday. But in the last 2 years lately I feel like I am far too elderly to enjoy a night out.

Here are the thoughts that go through my head:

1.     What do I wear?
a.     It’s important to note that I haven’t purchased anything from Forever 21 in the last year so I don’t even know where to shop for club clothes.

2.     Who do I go with? Does anyone go out to these..”bars”? Anymore?

3.     What time should I be ready? Am I the first or last person at the club?

4.     What should we drink? I have to be drunk to do this soooo shots.
5.     Should I wear a real coat? It’s cold outside!

6.     Is the music going to be too loud?

7.     Shit. I have to pay for my own drinks now that I’m engaged.

8.     (while at the club) Can we go yet?

9.     How far away are we from Taco Burrito King…

In any case, I hope all of you going out tonight wear some real clothes and remember the ball drop for 2015!

I'll be at home in my dress like....

Happy New Year!

Friday, January 10, 2014

Sway's Not The Only One Without The Answers

I took an unintended break from blogging just to figure out….every single thing! I decided when I hit my quarter life century mark, that I would follow wherever 25 would take me. Whatever obstacles or miracles, I would face them and grow from them and decide who I wanted to be afterwards. Sounds great, right?

So I’m almost 26 and I have a better idea of characteristically where I’d like to go, but I don’t have this great plan for my life like I thought I magically would 364 days later. As a planner and someone who’s somewhat anal retentive about the dumbest things, my idea for this year is to just not have a plan. At all. It sounds similar to last year, but I mean not plan at all. Not a dinner. Not a super bowl party. Not Friday - Sunday. Nothing.  I don’t know how I’m going to achieve this because I even plan what time I’d like to be in bed, but like bed time, life never pans out exactly the way I see it. (Seriously, Family Guy comes on from 10 – 11:30pm. Who can sleep?)

But I do have goals! And forgive me for this next part. After the latest Beyonce album dropped, I am in full stan mode so most of these goals are filled with Beyonce gifs. Enjoy!

Forgive: Myself! For the most insignificant things. I replay moments in my head a lot of how I could change things and I should stop. Why? That’s counterproductive and not encouraging to me in the least.

 Dance: I really like it! And I find myself trying to stop dancing on the CTA every day. No promises that I’ll look like a pro, but fun is fun.

EAT: I’m never going to forsake fast food. Not ever. I’m just not going to eat it everyday or twice on the weekends. Drunk food doesn’t count.

Simple: Not as in “simple b*tch”, honey; simple in getting to the bottom line. We beat around the bush so much in avoidance, but the faster you get to the punch line, the faster you can take action to solve and address whatever it is you’re facing.

That’s all I got! 26 is going to be a sassy year.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Making An Autumn Bucket List

Although it may not feel like Autumn to us Chicagoans (seriously with this 90 + degree weather), Fall is definitely upon us.

With all the Fashion Week buzz and prep for the school year, it seems that Fall is the start of anew. What better way to embrace the cold than with some things to look forward to on a bucket list!

Official notebook for my bucket list

Below are some goals that I think will make a transformative season for me, and hopefully you all can apply them to your season or put a spin on them! Here we go: 

Make At Least 5 Recipes From Cookbook

The New Abs Diet Cookbook: Hundreds of Delicious Meals That Automatically Strip Away Belly Fat!,9781605293141 
I bought this amazing cookbook as a suggestion from a friend and have tagged basically every page. They have everything from 'Grown Up Grilled Cheese' to 'Bomb Breakfast Wraps'. The best part? They're ALL good for you! I just have to actually make these dishes instead of stopping at the Dollar Menu...


Seems kind of redundant, but making real goals for yourself at work takes away from the cycle of getting up, going to sit at a desk, going home to sleep and repeat. It makes work exciting and you get to push yourself to achieve extraordinary goals. The bonus? You might actually get a bonus (or a raise) at the gig.

Make At Least 4 Fall Staple Fashions

I keep putting off sewing because of all the things I can buy from a store that rhymes with 'smorever funny one' on my way home. Lazy, right? My goal is to make what I see in the window everyday and put a spin on it! Also, sewing 101 isn't as hard as it looks! I've learned a lot of cool tips on YouTube. 

Keep Trying New Forms Of Exercise
I'm in a Bar Method mood as of late, but I've tried running, Bikram Yoga, NTC classes, sculpt and toning at Core Power and more. It's all about finding something to keep your attention and getting you excited to move.

I'm sure my list will get longer as the season passes, but what are some of yours? Share with me in the comments and remember to make attainable goals for yourselves. Once you get in the habit of crossing items off your list, I'm sure you'll feel unstoppable and want to conquer more. ;)

Until next time!


Friday, August 23, 2013

I'm Going To Blog About Random, Good Sh*t

This post is a love note from me, to you.

I have started almost every post this year with, "so I haven't blogged in a while...". It's not because I've run out of ideas, or because I don't find a passion in writing for my fellow Curvy women. I still do! I've just found like most things, I've evolved a bit, and the scope of this blog is not just the spot for all things #Curvy (although we will still be celebrating that here).

I've also found that the reason I started this blog, to celebrate our Curves that make us feels good, is not the only thing that makes me feel good. I want to blog about those other things, too!

Some content will still be fashion related (hello, I have 2 closets; full of clothes and full of shoes) but some will be thoughts still relevant, and hopefully helpful, too!

Thank you for being patient and I hope you stick with me through this new transition. You will not be sorry ;)

Arianna at The Last Word 

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Happy Anniversary, SATC! 5 Things To Remember In Real Life

I have been toying with the idea of writing a blog post for a while that separates the ideals of TV from real life. As a TV junkie myself I was sorely disappointed that a multitude of Alanis Morissette songs didn’t score the most important parts of my life, or the fact that my High School did not have cheerleaders! (No really, I’m quite coordinated. I would have been an awesome Cheerleader…5,6,7,8!) But as we celebrate one of the most influential female empowerment movements of the millennium in Sex And The City, I thought I would take this opportunity to capitalize on how we as women can take things away from the show, but still be sure to live in our own reality.

 1.       Do Not Wait For 'Big’

We don’t need a Cosmo quiz to tell us that we all have an inner Carrie.  We do! We’re all lovers and nurturers, and all want the fairy tale ending. We deserve it, right? What we don’t deserve the is the unwillingness of a guy to choose you and love you the way that you should be loved. Also, Carrie was 'the other woman'. We don’t deserve to hurt or be hurt by fellow women. SMH, Carrie!

2.       Do Not Go Broke For Shoes

Ever. This one is self explanatory. She had impeccable taste and I’m still in love with that Newsprint dress. But your friends aren’t going to wait for you if you can’t afford to go out or take shots with them. Fantasize about the shoes, heck take a picture and frame the shoes! But don’t sob over a cup of Ramen while wearing those shoes, because you can’t afford to do much else.

3.       Always Be There For The Friends That Deserve It

Thought Catalog is one of my favorite introspective websites and they always have articles about how being in your 20’s and 30’s what kind of friends you have and how you should deal with them if/when you grow apart. The truth is, friendships aren’t any harder at 25 than they are at 5. If your friend shares her Juice Box and Fruit Snacks with you, share yours. If not, still smile and be polite and keep those tasty treats for yourself. Be loyal and honest with the friend that shares, and keep that going for as long as it’s good to you! (Note: Juice Box and Fruit Snacks turn into Wine and Pizza when you’re older and start to deal with life, so save accordingly).

4.       Always Choose Yourself Over Smith Jared

So, Smith Jared was hot and his body looked like Adonis! And he stayed with Samantha through Cancer. Awww! And then he moved to California with Samantha she “said his name more times in a day” than her own. That was a beautiful love story! But eventually Samantha was losing herself and became unhappy. Don’t be with anyone or do anything that makes you unhappy. You’re much better than that.

5.  Silly: Always Pay The Rent And Don’t Abandon That Closet

This was the most frustrating part of that whole movie. Big built you that closet, proposed to you in that closet and you still couldn’t close and get the house in time?! Ugh. In real life: your house is your fortress and nothing is worth not keeping it up and not paying on time. For things of value, pay any and everything on time! And don’t walk away from apartment sized closets…..

In short, for SATC and all the amazing shows that portray the better & bitter parts of life, take what you can and live your own way!

Until next time,

Media Credit:,,,, AmBetterToday.Blogspot.Com

Editor's Note: Thank you to my lovely friend Maggie Oldmixon for the blog makeover! She writes, too, and you can read her drool-worthy posts here. :)

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Mini Haul: Beyoncé as Mrs. Carter in H+M

So, I's another Beyoncé post. But I can't help it! Beyoncé is a machine: 

Now, onto the goods. Mrs. Carter recently became the poster child for the new H&M Summer Collection. I was a little skeptical at first, I must admit. We now live in a fashion world where true Couture is lost in the midst of Celebrity endorsement, but I have to give it to H&M on this one!

It's a perfect summer set for us Curvy Girls. Not only are the pieces modestly priced, the silhouettes are very generous when it comes to the sizing. In plain text, there's enough room for boobs and some junk in the trunk in this assortment! I even got a size SMALL in my purchase from today!

The collection is filled with much more than we see Beyoncé in, standing under the sun (see what I did there?).  From a color palette of Neutrals to Prints, and Staples from Shorts to Rompers and Dresses, there is such a stand out variety. 

My only advice for this: choose your accessories wisely. Mrs. Carter is everywhere these days and everyone will no doubt be adding these pieces to their closet. Think of how you can add your own personal spunk, and add some color. It is summer after all!

Below are some of  pics of her collection and possibly a piece I've added to mine. Happy Shopping!

BONUS: Bey is even on the Shopping Bags

Until next time, 


Photo Credit: H & M Online

Monday, February 18, 2013

So You're Going To See Beyoncé...Now What?

Editor's Note: Parts of this post were written prior to the debut of Mrs. Knowles-Carter's fantabulous documentary, which I am sure has upped the ante for you music lovers.

Now that tickets have gone on sale to the general public and you've asked your cousin, best friend, girl you know from college for the hook up bought them through Live Nation or Ticketmaster, I'm sure you are all doing the 'Single Ladies' wave in prep for The Mrs. Carter Show!

Short story: I don't think Beyonce's website was prepared for the amount of traffic/people who wanted tickets a few weeks ago. Her site was shut down for 40 minutes and at 10:05, the tickets were sold OUT. I looked like this at my desk: 

BUT THEN  after watching the 'sold out' sign hovering next to the Chicago show, I refreshed the page (x100) and magically 4 tickets became on sale in one of the best sections.... and I got them!! I was all:

And of course my next question was..what am I going to wear?! This isn't just a concert. By the title of this concert tour, her show stopping promotion of a woman we all wish was our BFF in "Life Is But A Dream", you can tell Beyoncé did not come to play so neither should you. Below are my top suggestions for you to show up and show out at the Mrs. Carter Show:

Lamé is a knit fabric that usually is produced in gold and silver metallic tones. It's stiffer and outlines your shape, attracting light in flattering places. In "Lamé -ns" terms, it's shiny and makes you look more sophisticated than the average twentysomething-clubgoer. Sequins are out, Lamé is where it's at.
Anthony Vaccarello Gold Tone Pants, Egypt Leggings, Lame Silk Striped Blouse, Witchery Lame Tee, Vionnet Wrap Top 

I know; going to a concert means you'll be standing most of the time, but this is unfortunately a burden we carry as women. Heels are a must. No Flip Flops, no Flats, no cute Gladiator Sandals. NO! Come as the best version of yourself to this affair, and if you need tips on how to make your shoes comfy before wear, click here.
Miss Maze Peep Toe, Ellie Lace Up Stiletto, Iron Fist lip and Hear Boots , TopShop Lace Wing Boots,  Jeffery Campbell Mapmaking Boots, River Island Cage Bootie

Try a style you've never tried before. The pros: it's a dark concert and the only photo's you'll have are the ones you take before you go. The rest will be of 'Crazy In Love' or your favorite Bey performance.

Stand out-- it's a concert after all, and regardless of when this tour hits your city, be a walking Pop Of Color!

I hope to see all my fellow Chicagoans at the July 17th show! You can look for the girl wearing all of the above, and working it out in the United Center seats:

Happy Monday!


Photo Credit: BellaSugar, Gorgeous Hair, Fashion Bomb Daily, African American Wedding Hair ,Princess Hairstyles, A Cup of Chic